No more PBR

Michelle pointed out a teaser on the front page of the Oregonian yesterday for a story about Pabst Blue Ribbon’s popularity in Portland. I’m fed up with PBR, and I think this article catches some of the reasons why people drink it and why it’s obscenely popular in Portland:

  • It’s cheap
  • Street cred
  • hipster-lemmings
  • It’s blue collar
  • It’s like beer, but without all the flavor

Now I don’t mind the stuff – it has absolutely no offensive flavors, and you can drink a sixer and still ride a wheelie for a block, but the popularity has really started annoy me. Here’s why:

  • Pabst the company sucks – they left Milwaukee to avoid union dues, then the gave up brewing all together and are now just a beer marketing company. Have you seen their lineup of beers? Notice a common theme among their beers?
  • Cheap? A $2 pint for PBR is not a good deal. Considering that among the many excellent establishments in Portland you can routinely find specials for $2.50 for an Imperial Pint of a local brew, the PBR pales in comparison – not only in price, but also in quality, karma, coolness.
  • It’s brewed in Texas, likely using a different recipe. I’m not sure how you can get street cred or hipster satisfaction if you’re not supporting your local. Apparently I don’t get it, but neither does Full Sail, whose Session lager, a perfect product to replace the foreign beverage, is charging way to much for the stubbies. Hell, even I go to the store and see a half-rack of Pabst 12oz cans for less than $6 next to the Session 11oz stubbies for $12 and know it’s not going to work.
  • The article mentions one of the attractive facets of PBR is it’s blue collar ties. It’s a working man’s beer made by other hard working folks. Shit – you think all beer isn’t made by hard working people? And what makes it a working-man’s beer? Porter’s are a real working-man’s beers and this is about as far from a porter as you can get. And serving it at art galleries. Who are you trying to kid with this yuppie camouflage. Even died-in-the-wool PBR drinkers seem to be fed up with the facade.
  • Lastly, you live in fucking Portland, Oregon – Beer-fucking-vana. You wouldn’t go to Tuscany and order a hamburger, or Coney Island and order a baguette, so why live in a city with the best variety and quality of beers in the country and drink some swill sold by a company that doesn’t even make the beer? Unless…

    it couldn’t be…

    but maybe…
    you… don’t… like… beer?

All that being said, I don’t hate Pabst as much as Coors.

1 Response to “No more PBR”

  • Cause its Portland’s Best Refreshment…Get it PBR..pppssshh!

    Yeah I don’t get it either. But I think you hit the nail when you say that people might not like beer….IDIOTS, GOSH!

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